March 23 2010

So clearly as much as I would like to say that I keep a regular journal, I just can't seem to do it. I've got this one which is rather broad, then the one under my pillow which i get into for a week then drop for six months, and that little narrow book I write poems in. Hah! Sometimes I think it would just be a lot easier to jot note everything down so I don't forget certain things that have occured in my life when I'm old and grey, it's scary... I can't hardly remember the fine print of high school, and that was barely two years ago. Where am I going to be when I'm thirty? No wonder parents find it hard to relate to their kids.

Anyway, I guess I jumped on to this today as a "break" from this paper I've written five billion outlines for... The assignment is basically to show how people represent themselves and are represented in the face of globalization, as subjects of institutionalised power as well as agents of change, in resisting or changing the inequalities created. Now, I guess it is a pretty straight forward assignment, basically any other anthro paper on structure vs. agency, it shouldn't be that hard right? WRONG! I think I was just going about it in a terrible manner, you see I was going to write about third culture kids, being one myself I thought it would be something fun to get at... TERRIBLE idea, especially since the majority of TCK work published that I could find was self-help ish/ psych based... I'm sure there has to be some anthro to it, but I think that's a topic better saved for some other time where I don't have 30% of my mark on the line. Clearly if I've spent 2 days and 5-7 sheets of paper and 2 pages double space typed on a topic and still have really no clue about what exactly I am writing about, it should be saved for later. So I decided to settle on writing about how nationalitiy is exclusionary and imagined... still pretty daunting. Anyway I need to finish that paper by tomorrow... It isn't due till friday, but I'm going to a show thurs night, and have another anthro money paper & native papers due on wednesday, and a video that is 'supposed to be done', but has had its deadline moved back to Apr 6th for tuesday.

With all these deadlines coming up it really doesn't seem like summer is close at all, well all the deadlines plus the hail that got my feet soaking wet 2nd day in a row, dont make summer seem to soon... but here are some figures:

DAYS TILL LAST CLASS: 10
DAYS TILL FIRST EXAM: 20
DAYS TILL LAST EXAM: 32
DAYS TILL 852: 42

It's all pretty nice and dandy, despite having no concrete job, internship, or study plans for the summer, I'm pretty excited it is coming soon. I leave Toronto May 4 and get into HK May 6, and that night I get to see vicky in a school play! I'm actually really really stoked for that... to be honest I'm just really excited to be home. It's not even that I really have this deeply prevalent sense of homesickness anymore, I mean it comes and goes and is in me, but it's not like it is something that comes up every second of the day... I think it is just the fact that Hong Kong has now just become a place of refuge, really... just this like safe zone where I know I call always run away to, or fall back on, I guess knowing that Hong Kong is always there gives me a sense of security. Now, reading about all this TCK stuff really puts this into question, Will Hong Kong have the same value to me once people have stopped going back for holidays? What if my parents decide to move? It's weird because I fall under the technicalities of being a TCK, but many aspects of my life have been qutie stable. Meh, who knows. Another thing that always comes up when going back to HK is the whole...readjusting to it. Hmm Maybe this is where all the TCK stuff comes up? Cause I mean, it definetely took me a while to get used to going back last summer... I don't know... and this might sound weird but after becoming conscious that going to Canada did alter me a little... I always end up randomly asking myself of whether I am actually being myself. It gets too confusing, and tiring honestly, I don't really know I guess its all just wait and see.

But some things to look forward to:
- weekly mahjong with tru cru
- book club (not even kidding)
- feminist hour with viv
- just hanging out with my best friends
- BANE IN HK!
- RAINFEST PLEASE PlEASE PLEASE
- ben chillage
- kozak
- sunday breakfast with my mum & sister at caramba
- free (and if not free, delicious) food
- sun
- start a travel journal

Speaking of places to run off to... I'm in the works of applying to an exchange at the University of Oslo for the Winter 2011 term, hopefully it all goes through... if it does then I'll have lived in HK/ Toronto/ Oslo all in a year! Hah talk about lack of permanance... man you know why I think I like moving around? Cause it makes life less serious ( in my mind at least), cause there is always the opportunity to run away to something else when things fuck up, granted that isn't really the healthiest way of dealing, but hey its something. Hha, I mean at present I think the fact that I look at my life in 4 month sections to which I fly somewhere else to "run away" isn't exactly healthy either.

Nor do I think it is healthy that last night as I was folding my laundry I suddenly went on a like neatness/ cleaning spree. I don't know what it is about university or Canada or living relatively independently or WHAT but for some reason I am such a neat freak here, the difference is RIDICULOUS if you compare it to my room in HK. Maybe it has something to do with the fact that i really can't just sit down and enjoy something, like I can't sit through a movie or read a book just to enjoy it, I have to like be physically doing something... maybe again that has to do with the fact that my to-do list really is quite lengthly... that has to do with school...but anyway, about yesterday and cleaning. I managed to not only fold my clothes and put them in my drawers but i also managed to:

1. pack a box of stuff for give away
2. pack a suitcase full of canada- read cold- clothes
3. pack another suitcase of shit i wanna bring back to hk
4. pack a box of text books i want to sell

those are the major things... and then also... ALL my jeackets and shit are hung up, i have all my room food/ drinks in basket, i have all my make up and face shit like in baskets on shelves... shizzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

But speaking about packing things up, I want to cut down the amount of things I have in Canada to like 2 suitcases. Pretty ridicuous considering my big jacket takes up the space of half of one of mine...ALSO speaking of packing up, have to figure out where I'm going to live next year, that shits going to get worked out though.

OKAY SO TONIGHT:





I'm gonna tackle this shit!